The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of November 16, 2009

Project Description: Flexible Biz Dev Letter Writer Position Available (Telecomute)

Specific Project Request: We have an opportunity available for someone to write business development letters to executives in other industries for our search engine optimization company. Pay is $2 per letter and we think the letters will average 7 miinutes to write, but this is subject to change based on how long the letters actually take and their effectiveness. If you're interested please send a custom letter about yourself, your interests and why you think you would be good for this job. Please specifically include whether you know any specific industries (e.g. finance, law, whatever) and whether you have a writing specialty such as short story-telling, comedy writing, etc. Thanks!




There's nothing I hate more than a job posting that tells you how many minutes (or miinutes) it should take you to craft specific items. Seriously, what writer with expertise in finance, law or other area of specialization that requires advanced schooling is going to jump at the chance to write letters for $2 a pop? Even if it does take him or her 7 minutes to write said letters, that averages out to $17/hour with no benefits. And that's not to mention the HUGE assumption that you could sustain that level of cranking out. Yeah right. Screw you!

Advice for Freelancers Attempting NaNoWriMo

You haven't been hearing from me as much lately and part (but only a small part) of my excuse is that I'm taking part in two creative writing challenges this month. NaNoWriMo happens to be one of them, but it's also the one I almost definitely will not win, at least according the rules. However, the fact that I'm accomplishing any personal writing with everything else I have on my plate these days makes me a winner in my own eyes.

If you're joining me in the NaNo craziness, you might find this article useful: How to Write a Great Novel. Please note that while I haven't yet found the time to read it myself, I welcome comments.

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of November 9, 2009

Sorry for the delay with my Middle Finger Award winner for this week. During the month of November, I'm taking part in two creative writing challenges on top of my already bursting-from-the-seams life. One can never be too busy to dole out a Screw You! to the truly deserving, though.


Project Description: Blog & Article Ghostwriters for business owners/professionals (Your Home Office)

Specific Project Request: Are you offended by the way writing skills have been devalued on the Internet? Do you believe quality need not be sacrificed for quantity? Would you prefer to stay behind the scenes and write while someone else goes out and drums up business?

If you answered yes to these three questions, I'd like to hear from you.

My company provides online communications and Internet marketing consulting for small business owners and professionals. One set of services we offer includes blog and article ghostwriting. I have been doing the writing myself, but I'm currently in the process of ramping up my marketing efforts. Because I expect hoards of new clients to begin knocking down my door any minute, I'm looking to add a few freelance writers to the team. (Hey, a girl can dream, right? Seriously, I'm just trying to be proactive in the event that I can't handle increased volume. And in the spirit of transparency, the current "team" = my sister and me.)

Qualifications:
Ability to write well for a variety of audiences - know when and how to appropriately adjust tone and formality
Keen respect for good grammar, but savvy enough to know when and where to break the rules
Experience writing for the web
Familiarity with web content development for Internet marketing
College education preferred
Ability to write up to 500 words quickly and under tight deadlines
Access to a reliable computer and Internet access
Firm grasp of U.S. English
Friendly, easygoing personality
Must be able to accept payment via PayPal

Please send the following IN THE BODY OF AN EMAIL - NO ATTACHMENTS (sorry for yelling):
Bio and/or resume (don't spend too much time writing one... just send what you have)
Two writing samples (preferably web copy or blog posts)
Links to your website or social media profiles (if applicable)

If you seem to be a good fit, I'll contact you within a week.

Please Note:

It is extremely important to me that I am able to pay writers fairly. The pay rate is $15-18 per item. If you know it will take you two hours to get an entry "just right," I'd rather you not apply. That wouldn't amount to a fair rate, which goes against my values. I am retaining a percentage of what my clients pay as compensation for my marketing and consulting efforts.

This is an "as-needed" opportunity to supplement other income source(s). If selected, I will place you on my list of available writers.



I'll tell you what I'm offended by: job postings that lure you in with the promise of undoing the Internet's rampant devaluing of writing skills only to find out they pay $15-$18 PER ITEM. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that right around the exact same amount all those devaluers (a certain content mill comes to mind) they're pointing fingers at are currently paying?

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of November 2, 2009

Project Description: Scoopers Wanted!

Specific Project Request: Have this tingling sensation that you know more than other people when it comes to movies and TV shows and don’t mind letting them know all about it?

Then join our Spoilers Guide blog network and write with us!

At the moment, we are looking for daily writers only. What that means:

It means that you need to be able to check at least twice a day for new spoilers, and post them on here if you find any ( or link to original source, depends on type of the information ). We need people who can commit to the site, to the daily grind of spoilers writing.

We have our own system for finding new spoilers which we will happily share with you. There’s no need for you to browse trough hundreds of sites. Exclusive material we get daily, like sides, press releases or videos will be mailed by us to you when we get it.

So what do you get by writing for SpoilersGuide.com? I mean, besides the adoration of millions of readers a day (give or take a million a day), and the ability to brag to your cousins that you’re now a published writer?

You can make money!

You can earn money for every post you make ( your two Adsense ads on every post you make, stays forever!). Depending on how prolific you become, this could mean a 1$-10$ bucks a day to a few dozen bucks a day to a few cents a day. It’s entirely up to you. Write a lot, make a lot. Write once a month, make a cent a day . Later, if you become a valuable member of the team (that is, if you’re still here in a year or two), we can discuss other revenue sharing options.

On technical side, Spoilers Guide is greatly optimized ( that’s what I mostly do so don’t have time to post dozen of new posts everyday day ), which means that with a little work you can get thousands of visitors coming to your posts from Google every day! More visitors, more money and fame ( hint: Google for example ” Flash Forward spoilers ” and you’ll see we are the first )

Before we get started, let’s talk about what you need to know before you shoot me an email using the contact form below.

Wordpress. It’s the publishing platform we use here at SpoilersGuide.com. That means you need to have a working knowledge of Wordpress, or a similar publishing platform, to hit the ground running. Wordpress is relatively easy ( probably the easiest way to publish content online ) to learn if you are willing to learn. Find more about it over at Wordpress.org. It’s not crucial that you know Wordpress, but truth be told, it’ll be a whole lot easier on both of us if you’ve at least published on the net before using some sort of publishing platform ( live journal, blogger, even forums ! )

What to include with your email to me:

Who are you, why do you want to write for us, which shows/movie you are interested in, and which TV/movie sites you usually read or are part of ( forums ).

First impressions count. DO NOT SEND ME AN EMAIL FULL OF TYPOS AND LOWER CASE LETTERS or sOmEtHiNg lIkE tHiS.




Okay, seriously, if you were going to work for the pittance that is Adsense commissions, why, why, why would you hand your writing over to someone else when you could set up your own blog free of charge, earn the exact same commissions and keep complete editorial control? And that you would keep that up for an entire year with the pie-in-the-sky hopes that you'll one day share in other paltry revenue schemes? It never ceases to amaze me the lengths job posters will go to in order to make a moldy-cheese scam sound gourmet-cheese appetizing.

Freelancing Tip from Suze Orman

I was recently reading Suze Orman's Top 10 Money Tips for Women (because Suze's one of my financial idols) and I ran across this beauteous piece of advice.

5. Don't Put Yourself on Sale

Don't treat yourself like you're on sale. If you're reluctant to put a real value on what you do, then it diminishes who you are. As Suze explains, women tend to devalue what they do.

This creates a vicious cycle: "When you devalue what you do, it becomes inevitable that you -- and those around you -- devalue who you are." Women will settle for less. They may offer discounted prices on their services or accept a smaller raise, even when the company is doing well. They have to ask for what they know is "right."


Do any of you recognize your freelancing selves here?

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of October 26, 2009

Jessica Mousseau, one of my most prolific Middle Finger Award winner finders, alerted me to this job posting.

Project Description: Work from Home! Writers Needed - From Movie Geeks to Single Moms

Specific Project Request: Hey there,
We are a web start-up, focused on user-generated content, with elements of social networking and a whole lot of cutting-edge technology. We launched as a public beta in August and some of our current writers have had their content seen by more than 20,000 people already.
It's a community site, so we are currently looking for Digital Interns to create content on our public beta to get some of our key features working. Good writers, bloggers, or people familiar with witty - or just plain informative - internet writing are a must. If you’re willing to get your hands dirty learning the ins and outs of launching a successful website, then we encourage you to apply. If you want to get great visibility for your blog, site or just for yourself as a writer, then this is the bandwagon to jump on.
The Job:
- Creating enjoyable, new, and exciting content on our new platform and interacting with existing users exhaustively.
- Creating content that matters to you, being creative, and adding to existing content on the site.
- Promoting yours (and others') content across the web
- Providing Feedback on the ins and outs of the site itself.
- You would work from home, school, or wherever you'd like. This is a DIGITAL INTERNSHIP, so you would not be coming into an office (though if you live in the Los Angeles area we'd be happy to have you come by whenever), but you would be accountable for a certain amount of trackable work.
Requirements:
- You must be able to write a coherent sentence.
- Come up with extremely original and uncommon content ideas, as well as be able to add your own, learned, two cents on common and existing content.
- Defeat an army of the undead using only your dry humor and the chainsaw attached to your wrist.
- A working knowledge of pop culture - or if not pop culture, other passionate areas of interest (science, art, history, technology - our site is a treasure trove of interests).
- You must be available for at least 8-10 hours a week, spread out around your schedule. This is stuff you might be doing in your spare time anyway.
- You must be an active user of online social networks of all kinds (facebook, twitter, digg, blogs, etc).
- You must be extremely web and computer savvy, as some viral marketing may be requested of the right candidates.
- Must want to pursue writing/learn how to promote yourself and your writing on the internet

Rewards:
- The opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a groundbreaking new website started by an internet vet who sold a previous web business.
- We’re a growing company, so good interns could end up moving into paid positions down the line.
- We’ll also give you all the college credit your school will accept.
- Any recommendations you need to boost your resume.
- Your content, assuming it's good, will be featured prominently on our site and should get plenty of hits; so if you have any blogs, sites, or anything you want pushed, giving us great content can only benefit you.

Please respond to the craigslist email above with a cover letter and resume. Please include what social networks you are a regular part of and a list of your top five favorite [anything] to be considered.
If you are curious about this opportunity, or even just the site itself, we welcome casual users with open arms. Simply go to www.ranker.com. We are growing every day.
If you are interested in the internship, then please do not respond to the registration email -- respond to the craigslist link in purple as seen at the top of this posting. That is the email you reply to. The other email is not checked by anyone who can help you. It is checked by androids.
PLEASE DO NOT REPLY TO THE EMAIL THAT STARTS WITH "REGISTRATION". USE THE CRAIGSLIST LINK PROVIDED ABOVE. THANK YOU.




Okay, seriously, could this job poster offend a few more groups of people with his/her job title? I really hate "internship" opportunities that are actually just creative ruses to obtain free work. I mean come on! How many movie geeks and stay-at-home moms do you know who need college credits? A much deserved Screw You! to this one.

National Day on Writing

I've just discoverd that the United States Congress has declared today, October 20, 2009, National Day on Writing. Passed on October 8, 2009, the following resolution served as the impetus behind this holiday.

RESOLUTION
Expressing support for the designation of October 20, 2009, as the National Day on Writing.

Whereas people in the 21 st century are writing more than ever before for personal, professional, and civic purposes;

Whereas the social nature of writing invites people of every age, profession, and walk of life to create meaning through composing;

Whereas more and more people in every occupation deem writing as essential and influential in their work;

Whereas writers continue to learn how to write for different purposes, audiences, and occasions throughout their lifetimes;

Whereas developing digital technologies expand the possibilities for composing in multiple media at a faster pace than ever before;

Whereas young people are leading the way in developing new forms of composing by using different forms of digital media;

Whereas effective communication contributes to building a global economy and a global community;

Whereas the National Council of Teachers of English, in conjunction with its many national and local partners, honors and celebrates the importance of writing through the National Day on Writing;

Whereas the National Day on Writing celebrates the foundational place of writing in the personal, professional, and civic lives of Americans;

Whereas the National Day on Writing provides an opportunity for individuals across the United States to share and exhibit their written works through the National Gallery of Writing;

Whereas the National Day on Writing highlights the importance of writing instruction and practice at every educational level and in every subject area;

Whereas the National Day on Writing emphasizes the lifelong process of learning to write and compose for different audiences, purposes, and occasions;

Whereas the National Day on Writing honors the use of the full range of media for composing, from traditional tools like print, audio, and video, to Web 2.0 tools like blogs, wikis, and podcasts; and

Whereas the National Day on Writing encourages all Americans to write, as well as to enjoy and learn from the writing of others: Now, therefore, be it


Resolved, That the Senate--

(1) supports the designation of October 20, 2009, as the National Day on Writing;

(2) strongly affirms the purposes of the National Day on Writing and encourages participation in the National Gallery of Writing, which serves as an exemplary living archive of the centrality of writing in the lives of Americans; and

(3) encourages educational institutions, businesses, community and civic associations, and other organizations to promote awareness of the National Day on Writing and celebrate the writing of their members through individual submissions to the National Gallery of Writing.


You can learn more about this special event here: Take Part in the National Day on Writing. What are you doing to celebrate?