Professional Freelance Copy Editing ... Because I'm Worth It

Editors are worth something after all. Well, imagine that.

I'm very fortunate in that most of the clients for whom I edit rain praise upon me for the value I add to their work. But let's face it, editing is usually a thankless job. After all, most people see only the finished product. They never even catch a glimpse of the original not-fit-for-viewing version of the copy. And woe is the editor who spots a thousand errors, enhances the readability tenfold, but misses one grammatical fine point.

Even worse, however, is the idea that editing is a dead profession, one that's been replaced by software and its spellchecking capabilities. (And all you loyal readers already know how I feel about that diabolical notion.)

I can rant and rave until I'm blue in the face, though, because as an editor, my opinion on the subject is automatically deemed a biased one. Now I've got the scientific proof that my services are worth every penny I charge: The "engagement (defined as clicks to desired links on the page)" on edited pages versus unedited pages "over the course of a month" is a 30 percent differential. How's that for a Screw You! to the naysayers?

I don't know any kind of keyword stuffing or SEO tactics that come anywhere near that kind of return. If you happen to be a business owner who is seeking that type of results, I'm available. I'm a freelance copy editor ... and I'm worth it.

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of October 25, 2010

Project Description: Content/Blog Writers

Specific Project Request: I need an SEO content, or blog writer for education articles. All articles will be 500 words, and right now, I can only afford to pay $2 per article, but that will increase in the next 3 months, or even the next month. I really need people to help me out, and I understand if the low pay puts some people off, but I really need the help, and it's certainly worthwile. If you are interested, then please get back to me with your resume.
Thanks, Sarah


Yeah, Sarah, sure, but we're not impressed that three months from now you'll be paying (possibly) $3 per article instead of $2. It's nice that you're understanding and all about how you're putting people off, but really, if you can't afford to pay people now then why not wait until you can to seek out assistance? Oh, yeah, because your rate will NEVER reach a point that it doesn't put people off.

Sometimes I really need help cleaning up dog vomit. You think you could give me a hand, Sarah? I'll pay you $2. Certainly that's worthwhile too, right?

Update on the Non-Paying Client

After turning him into Writer's Weekly's Whispers and Warnings for investigation, I received a partial payment from my non-paying client. (See The Non-Paying Freelance Client I Wish I Didn't Have to Out
. This is why I count Angela Hoy among my heroes--she achieved in the matter of hours something I'd been trying to accomplish for six months. Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that the check clears my account.

I'll be back next week with my regular Screw You! features.

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of October 11, 2010

Oh boy, does my math degree ever come in handy for this week's Middle Finger Award winner.

Project Description: ESL Proofreaders of legal texts

Specific Project Request: Confidential, Tripoli, Tripoli, Libya
Required urgently experienced, English mother-tongue, proofreader(s) for light proofreading of about 500+ A4 pages (300 words per page) of legal texts, translated from Arabic into English. Job is to be finished soonest possible. Offered Price: $0.50 per page. This is a regular and long-term new (small) business opportunity for the right candidate(s). IF interested email me your short resume, full contact details and expected turnaround time.

Well, it's a good thing you put if in all caps because I can't imagine you're going to get very many takers on this one. Obviously you haven't done the math, so let me break it down for you. 500 pages at 300 words per page works out to 150,000 words. 500 pages at a compensation rate of $0.50/page is $250. Now divide that $250 by the 150,000 words that need editing and you get $0.0001666/word. Now I know decimal points confuse a lot of people but that's equivalent to 16/100 of a cent per word. That's not even anywhere near standard rate for American content of a general nature let alone non-native translation in a highly specified subject area.

Light proofreading, my a$$! Yeah, that's right. Screw You!

The Non-Paying Freelance Client I Wish I Didn't Have to Out

Normally, I take a certain amount of pleasure in outing my nonpaying clients (which thankfully are few in number). This time, however, is an exception. I worked with this company for three years, during which time the individuals involved were very good to me. Payment was often slow but it always eventually came, sometimes with bonuses. But all that changed the latter half of last year when I had to start squeezing long overdue monies out of them.

There's more to the story but I agreed to keep a questionable payment issue confidential. I will put it out there, however, that at this time I'm owed by Credit Union BUSINESS and the magazine's editor Tim O'Hara a total of $1107.30 for a series of three invoices dating all the way back to December 2009. This total includes interest on the December invoice but not the two from early 2010. I'll be tacking interest on to them as well as of October 31. By then the total will likely increase by another $100.

I've tried working this out on numerous occasions with Tim and the response is always the same: "I will get you paid as soon as possible." At 275 days old and counting I'm not holding my breath. My catchphrase is obviously well deserved here, but my heart just isn't in to saying it.


UPDATE: As of October 14, 2010, I received a partial payment from this client.

Freelance Funny of the Day

Anyone who watches reality TV will totally relate to this New Yorker cartoon.

In the same vein, but an even worse offender in my not so humble opinion, is "XXX and I's relationship ..." Makes me want to hurl something very heavy at the TV every single time it's uttered.

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of October 4, 2010

Project Description: Do You Love Celebrity Gossip? Writers Wanted (LA)


Specific Project Request: Do you love Celebrity Gossip? Can you write 250 word celebrity gossip blurbs that bite? Do you have an amazing sense of humor? Can you write 5 amazing, funny, edgy, hilarious, and hard-hitting posts on what is going on in the celebrity gossip world as it happens? If yes, we want you.

Work from home and earn $25.00 per day for submitting 5 Ass-Kicking and funny posts to our celebrity Gossip site. 5 submissions earns a total of $25.00 for that day.

Wow, that's a whole lotta adjectives for a whole $25 per day! You wanna know what I can write that bites and is a$$-kicking? A big Screw You! How's that for hard-hitting?

Free Freelance Business Cards ... a Redux

So not a single one of my business card winners has contacted me with their mailing information more than two weeks after the announcement. (So much for contests drawing in readership. Once they stick their hand in the honeypot, they apparently never return again.) That being the case, the first three readers to email me with their contact information gets 'em.

On your mark, get set, go!