I should be back shortly with a new batch of Screw You!s. In the meantime, enjoy this (rather hysterical) guest post.
“Lateness Excuses from Freelance Writers: as Funny as It Can Get”
Imagination is one of the defining qualities of a professional and successful freelance writer. However, a successful freelancer should also incorporate other professional qualities: education, articulateness, punctuality, etc. This list includes some freelance writers who only got the “imagination” part right. These folks’ lateness excuses are, to put it mildly, quite creative.
I merely looked through the list of deactivated writers with Custom-Writing.org project whose orders were routinely late, and always had a unique excuse to go along with the lateness. Therefore, I'm fairly confident that most of these explanations were simply made up. If not, then these folks make a dandy list of the most unfortunate people on the planet.
These are just in random order, so you can pick your “leaders”. The quotes here represent their messages to the support team. They are slightly edited to remove some personal information and make them more understandable apart from their context. OK, here we go:
“Usually before I go to bed, I have a glass of warm milk. I usually finish with the milk and leave it next to my lamp on the drawer. But this time I didn't feel like finishing the glass, and left it half full on the drawer. I left my laptop right next to my slippers, on the floor. It turned out that during the night, I probably moved the glass with my hand. So it fell to the floor, spilling the milk all over the laptop. Now it’s not working, I have to take it to the repair shop and it might take more than couple of days to get it back. I have all of the work saved there and so now I can't finish the assignment. Begging for an extension!” At least for him, the glass is half-full.
“I had to travel to Dubuque to visit my cousin. His girlfriend dumped him just a couple of days prior to my arrival. So he was really depressed. Plus his PC went down, leaving him without his favorite pastime – online games. I felt really sorry for him, so I left him my laptop, because I knew, I'll be coming back within a couple of weeks, and can take it back then. What I didn't realize is that my home computer did not contain the files I used for the work on the project. They were also gone from my inbox, although you sent me them to my address. So if you could just please provide an extension and send the files all over again, I'll have the order completed in no time!” Additional comments: he only responded with the tale of his PC when we contacted him regarding the lateness.
“I lost my car keys after a birthday party of my friend. I don't know why – but I walked home and fell asleep, in the morning I realized that I had to finish up the paper. The flash drive with the work was in the car. So I was determined to break the window to get it out of the glove compartment. When I went to my friends house to get the car, it turned out that he got it into his garage, because he actually had my keys. But I only was able to find that out when he came back from the mall, and told me everything. I waited for him on his porch for a couple of hours until he arrived. I wasn't able to get him to answer my calls, because while he was at the mall, he left the phone in the car, because he didn't want to be bothered after last night. Anyway, that's how I wasted almost 12 hours out of the deadline and I would appreciate an extension, if possible, to have this whole thing done and avoid any penalties.” I don't even know what to comment about this one. She would have been better off just saying that she's sick and needs more time.
Just a couple of short ones as a dessert:
“I was backpacking in the mountains; my laptop was struck by lightning...” OK...stop...just...Wow! I won't even type the rest; it gets even crazier from there.
“My PC was hacked in, now I can't open anything on it and can't even use it. It has to be repaired and I'm writing to you from my iPhone.” This one is also brilliant because we initiated an investigation determined to shut down his account because all of the latenesses. Moreover, the IT department determined that the IP address of the sender was the same as usual and the browser version he used wasn't a mobile edition. This means, he was using his PC, to inform us that his PC was disabled.
I hope that if you work in the freelance writing business or are going to order something from a freelance writer, you won’t find be like one of these folks, or get partnered with one of them! :)
Have a great day, and good luck with your career.
James Whitaker,editor at Custom-Writing.org
Visit him at his Twitter account: CusWriting.
Labels: guest posts