The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of January 30, 2011

Here's another one of those job postings I'm not sure how to take. Could be legitimate but it also sounds pretty creepy. That's why it's getting my Middle Finger Award. You may disagree.

Project Description: Looking for an Editor (Queens)

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Specific Project Request: Looking for an editor or a college student majoring in writing to work on a book project. I need someone to relate to my book content, read it, live it and then tell me if I need to focus on other points. I need grammar editing and formating for a small memoir book approximately 90 pages. This is a personal subject and I need someone to work on this project and be sensitive to the material. I will compensate you for your services based on my small budget. Please email me with information and salary requirements.

So the way I'm reading it, this job poster wants someone to relate to a "sensitive" subject (scares to think what that subject is) by walking in his or her shoes. It's the asking someone to live your sensitive life that qualifies as a major creep factor to me. Oh yeah, and then there's the fact that the poster is partial to a college student. That's probably because the pay rate is creepy as well, but I can't help but think there could be some mind games involved here. (You know, the whole young minds are easier to sway contention.) Maybe I've watched too many thrillers in my life, but screw this project anyway.

Final Chance: $100 Gift Card Giveawy

Because I'm attending a writers' retreat this weekend, I won't be able to select a winner for my New Year's $100 Gift Card Giveaway until late Sunday evening. So I've decided to extend the entry time period until then. If you haven't entered yet, please visit the original post for details.

Freelancer Bill of Rights

Have you read and/or signed the Freelancer Bill of Rights? Its aim is "to empower themselves (freelancers) to demand fair treatment from clients." (Not that any of MY readers need empowering!) What are your thoughts on its proposed inclusions?

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of January 24, 2011

For any of you who've ever wondered how far school cheating extends into real life, here's your answer. It gets my Middle Finger Award for obvious reasons.

Project Description: Review of a book required by employer

Specific Project Request: I just got an intership at a real estate company, and my employer wants me to read a book about the housing-related market crash and write a report/review about it. I want to make a good first impression, so I need someone with real estate and writing experience. The review needs to be 7-12 pages, double spaced, and I will need it by Thursday, December 2nd, 2010 at 8:30 am. The book is 266 pages, and I will cover the book cost with my payment. I will provide more detailed instructions at a later date. Thank you.


Here's hoping the person who signed on to this assignment did the right thing and gave the employer the true impression of this individual. If not, a big Screw You! to both of the poster and the service provider.

Please, (Deadbeat) Sir, I Want Some More??

I discovered the link to this article, Begging for Your Pay, on the Facebook Fan page of one of my favorite bloggers, Susan Johnston of The Urban Muse. Click on through and read it before moving on to my commentary. Otherwise, it won't make a whole lot of sense... Plus, there's plenty more to get you (and me) all riled up about.



Emails peppered with "assurances from the exasperated, resentful freelancer of how much she is looking forward to working with the company again in the future." Seriously? I've had to hunt down very late payment a few times, but when I have, it's with the clear intent that I will never be working with the client again. I feel bad for these people, but at the same time I also think they brought on much of the problem themselves. That being said, most of them deserve a slap upside the head and a big ole Screw You!

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of January 17, 2011

Reader Emily sent me this week's Middle Finger Award winner. Although it doesn't fall in the writing field it was way too fun not to share. Emily dubbed it "Lost in Translation."




Here are three scenarii for you, superkrin...

First: How about this great idea: Before you post another job ad, find freelance editor on your client website?

Second: Consider laying off taking the coffee all day and brushing up on your English translation skills.

Third: To ensure finding a successfully provider, drop the secret agent attitude.

I'd say the usual Screw You! to this job poster, but I'm experiencing some well-founded doubts as to how that would be translated.

New Year's $100 Gift Card Giveaway

Since being named a Top Freelance Writing Blog, I've been getting quite a few emails from individuals/businesses wanting to partner up with me in some way. Most of them just want free link exchanges, but a few are willing to extend something of value for the publicity.

I'm still making next to nothing off this blog, mind you, but my loyal readers who have helped earn me that distinction are starting to benefit from the freebies that are being offered my way. And to start off the New Year, I've got a great giveaway to share with all of you.

Looking for everything from Delsey luggage to Le Creuset cookware? You'll find it all at CSN, which comprises of over 200 online stores and is offering up a $100 gift certificate that is valid at any of those Web establishments.

To win this gift code, post a comment detailing the one freelancing-related item you'd most like to have in the upcoming year. I'm sure CSN would love it if you picked something from their site, but that's not a requirement to win. All I ask is that if you enter, you don't do so anonymously and that you have a working email address either in your profile or at the end of your comment. Anyone I can't contact will be disqualified. The contest will close in two weeks on January 26.

In 2011, the freelancing-related item that tops my wishlist is a netbook. After lugging an almost 10-pound laptop around New York City for three weeks while my dad was having and recovering from open-heart surgery there two years ago, I discovered just how heavy 10 pounds is. And that's precisely why I left the laptop home when I went to Europe last April!

Now, your turn...

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of January 10, 2011

Oh, the drama in this week's Middle Finger Award-winning post. Although I wouldn't touch this project with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole, I have to admit the manuscript would probably make for an entertaining read.

Project Description: Editor Needed for Manuscript (Eagle Rock)


Specific Project Request: I finished my first manuscript and I need an editor to correct grammar and punctuation mistakes so I can self-publish or start looking for an agent.

I warn you this is the craziest story you've ever read and highly offensive on many levels. I'm offended and I'm the wanker who wrote it.

I had to fire my first editor, because he got all excited, tried to take over creative control and pressure me into a joint venture. I'm not looking for that. I welcome input, but primarily, I just want an editor that I can pay to work by the page. Also, I'm not interested in reworking this to appease the literary community. I have absolutely no interest in weighting this down with excessive adjectives and literary wank.

Really looking for someone who shares my love for straight forward, in-your-face communication without all the fluff.

Let me know your rate, how fast you think you can get it done, and any examples of your work, your style, etc. (The story is less than 100 pages double spaced.)

Really excited to hear from the right person!

This job poster used a form of wank twice in just a few sentences. Just what I always wanted to do: work with a wanker who doesn't want any literary wank added to the craziest (not to mention most offensive) story ever written. In fact, the story's so juicy it had a previous editor peeing his pants for creative control and joint ventureship. I can hardly contain myself. Please! Wank this and Screw You!

A Favorable Twist on the Freelance Job Ads

I spend a lot of time here on this blog focusing on the negative job postings. After all, it's hard not to when there are so many of them. Occasionally, however, I'll run across a positive job ad.

Okay, so it's still not the greatest hourly rate, but it sure is a step in the right direction. And I'll bet working with this indvidual will be a lot more satisfying experience than the usual Craigslist fare.

Project Description: Freelance writer, editor, researcher (Greenwich Village)


Specific Project Request: I need a writer/editors for the articles I write for various websites including http://www.thepeoplesvoice.com

I noticed an ad on Craigs list that offered $10 for 500 words. Were they serious?

I will pay $10/hour just to correct my capitalization and punctuation.

If you can fix up my grammar and sentence structure and do some writing yourself the pay is $15/hour.

You don't actually have to live in New York City.

The Ultimate Get-a-Clue Freelance Request for the Week of January 3, 2011

It's the first Middle Finger Award winner of the New Year, and it's the usual want-it-all, pay-for-nothing mentality.

Project Description: Long term ghostwriter
Specific Project Request:
- Perfect English and Grammar
- Very analytical
- Very fast writer (24 hours)
- Able to write research paper at Master Level extremely well.
- Constant communication (emails, ym, msn & mobile)24 hours or less. Most
of the time I expect 12 hours or less.
- Have access to journals, textbooks and articles (validated sources)
- Very proficient at APA/Harvard Referencing

Rate: $15 - $20 per 1000 words.

I'm not sure who to be handing out the Screw You! to here--the poster or the responders. Seriously, if you can write extremely well at a Master level, why on earth would you be accepting 1.5 to 2 cents per word?!

And to be available for constant communication? Sorry, but on-call employees get paid for their time. If someone is going to avail themselves to a slave driver, he or she should be charging by the hour (24 hours per day), not by the measly word. SCREW that!